‘I am a Lesbian and I am a Muslim’

‘I am a Lesbian and I am a Muslim’

‘I am a Lesbian and I am a Muslim’

First published in News by

An Asian lesbian has spoken of her experiences about hiding her sexuality from her family.

“I know this sounds like a complete paradox. But I am a lesbian. And I am a Muslim. A practising Muslim,” she says.

Jay, as she wanted to be referred to said she rarely talks of her feelings to anyone and growing-up she felt ostracised. But at university she was able to be a little more open about her sexuality.

“I can’t talk about this to anyone apart from my close friends. I would never dare to admit this to my family.

“At school, all the Asian girls had secret boyfriends, and would sneak around. I knew from an early age that I was different as I was attracted to girls.

“My parents were always worried about finding me with a boyfriend. That was considered the ultimate ‘bezti”.

“I am still at university, and here I am able to explore my sexuality more freely. And by that, I don’t mean physically. I have joined the LGBT society and have met so many like minded people.”

Traditionally homosexual acts in most Muslim countries are a punishable crime and a sin. Despite this, same-sex sexual intercourse is legal in five Muslim-majority nations.

Home life for Jay is completely different though and she says she would not dream of letting her family know about her sexuality.

“Closer to home, people are so judgemental. Asian society is judgemental. My family would disown me if they found out. Or they would force me into an arranged marriage in Pakistan.

“The irony is, my dad drinks at home. He would never be seen in public drinking. I have heard my mum arguing with him late at night about the fact that he watches adult channels.

“But when the issue of gay people comes up, well, let’s just say acceptance is a word that is simply not used in our community. My parents, like many others, think it is a sin. And that the only cure for it is marriage.”

Despite these concerns she feels that there are others in her community who hide their true feelings for fear of retaliation.

“Recently, a family friend discovered their son was gay. Well, they found gay porn on his phone.

“They concluded that he had been possessed by a jinn. That was their only explanation.

“They took him to this pir who performed an exorcism on him.

“My only hope of a normal life is if I move out of home once I graduate, assuming I can find a decent job.

“I am a Lesbian, I was born that way. But at the same time, I pray five times a day. I fast in Ramadan. I enjoy attending Islamic talks at uni.”

Jay though has no reservations about her life despite the concerns some Muslims might have.

“Islam is a peaceful religion. Our prophet (pbuh) never excluded anyone from participating in the religious life of the mosque.

“All I want is for my family to accept me the way I am so I can stop living this lie.”

Comments (6)

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8:33pm Tue 4 Mar 14

The bluetooth. says...

No u were not born that way. You were born straight.everyone is born straight. People then choose otherwise later on in life. Fair doos that u have still kept to your prayers.prayers is only 5% of religion. The other 95% u will have to strive and struggle for. It is only then u will get the true understanding of islam.
No u were not born that way. You were born straight.everyone is born straight. People then choose otherwise later on in life. Fair doos that u have still kept to your prayers.prayers is only 5% of religion. The other 95% u will have to strive and struggle for. It is only then u will get the true understanding of islam. The bluetooth.
  • Score: 17

2:14am Wed 5 Mar 14

Yusufd says...

Mutually exclusive Muslim or Homosexual. Nothing wrong with either. But sorry cant be both.
Mutually exclusive Muslim or Homosexual. Nothing wrong with either. But sorry cant be both. Yusufd
  • Score: 1

7:47am Wed 5 Mar 14

smile3 says...

Not mutually exclusive - you have muslims who are sinners in all types of ways - adulterors, alcoholics etc - they still remain muslim. But important thing is to recognise that homosexuality is a sin in Islam - and try your best to keep away from it.
Everyone is tested with different trials - some with the love of money, some with love of the opposite sex, some with love of the same sex. We need to recognise that these are tests and work hard to avoid the sins.
Not mutually exclusive - you have muslims who are sinners in all types of ways - adulterors, alcoholics etc - they still remain muslim. But important thing is to recognise that homosexuality is a sin in Islam - and try your best to keep away from it. Everyone is tested with different trials - some with the love of money, some with love of the opposite sex, some with love of the same sex. We need to recognise that these are tests and work hard to avoid the sins. smile3
  • Score: 25

2:51pm Thu 6 Mar 14

itsBilly says...

if you are lesbian then you are NOT a muslim!! to make matters worse, you call yourself Practicing Muslim!!!! astaghfirullah! so don't call yourself one cos u obviously haven't done your research about same sex in religion!! Its FORBIDDEN!
if you are lesbian then you are NOT a muslim!! to make matters worse, you call yourself Practicing Muslim!!!! astaghfirullah! so don't call yourself one cos u obviously haven't done your research about same sex in religion!! Its FORBIDDEN! itsBilly
  • Score: 3

2:14pm Sun 9 Mar 14

Ladysadie says...

itsBilly wrote:
if you are lesbian then you are NOT a muslim!! to make matters worse, you call yourself Practicing Muslim!!!! astaghfirullah! so don't call yourself one cos u obviously haven't done your research about same sex in religion!! Its FORBIDDEN!
You need to do a little research yourself! It's haram to call another muslim a non-muslim, it's not the feelings she has but whether or not she acts upon them that matters. If she doesn't she'll be rewarded for keeping away from haram actions. If she does then her only hope is to repent,ask forgiveness and determine to never repeat it, its upto Him from there. Everyone is tested in this world, it's what you do that counts. Islam is peace-hate the sin not the sinner.
[quote][p][bold]itsBilly[/bold] wrote: if you are lesbian then you are NOT a muslim!! to make matters worse, you call yourself Practicing Muslim!!!! astaghfirullah! so don't call yourself one cos u obviously haven't done your research about same sex in religion!! Its FORBIDDEN![/p][/quote]You need to do a little research yourself! It's haram to call another muslim a non-muslim, it's not the feelings she has but whether or not she acts upon them that matters. If she doesn't she'll be rewarded for keeping away from haram actions. If she does then her only hope is to repent,ask forgiveness and determine to never repeat it, its upto Him from there. Everyone is tested in this world, it's what you do that counts. Islam is peace-hate the sin not the sinner. Ladysadie
  • Score: 2

8:41am Mon 10 Mar 14

gaysikh says...

The bluetooth. wrote:
No u were not born that way. You were born straight.everyone is born straight. People then choose otherwise later on in life. Fair doos that u have still kept to your prayers.prayers is only 5% of religion. The other 95% u will have to strive and struggle for. It is only then u will get the true understanding of islam.
Stop forcing your opinion as facts, you are NOT born straight. It's obvious you live in a bubble and anything that challenges the norm is making you unsettled. I respectfully request you drop your homophobic opinions and speak with some homosexuals to get a better understanding of their problems.

Reading the story above it's obvious this woman is finding it hard to be Muslim and Lesbian. Do you really think she would choose this path if she was able to? The truth of the matter is, is that she is STRONG and has GUTS to do what she feels is right, and not conform to a life of sadness in an unloving lying straight marriage (which I'm very sure you would like to impose on her).

Do your research!
[quote][p][bold]The bluetooth.[/bold] wrote: No u were not born that way. You were born straight.everyone is born straight. People then choose otherwise later on in life. Fair doos that u have still kept to your prayers.prayers is only 5% of religion. The other 95% u will have to strive and struggle for. It is only then u will get the true understanding of islam.[/p][/quote]Stop forcing your opinion as facts, you are NOT born straight. It's obvious you live in a bubble and anything that challenges the norm is making you unsettled. I respectfully request you drop your homophobic opinions and speak with some homosexuals to get a better understanding of their problems. Reading the story above it's obvious this woman is finding it hard to be Muslim and Lesbian. Do you really think she would choose this path if she was able to? The truth of the matter is, is that she is STRONG and has GUTS to do what she feels is right, and not conform to a life of sadness in an unloving lying straight marriage (which I'm very sure you would like to impose on her). Do your research! gaysikh
  • Score: 2

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