I begin in the late afternoon and then as it gets busier I have to be on guard against you customers.

We are here providing a service my friend and I don’t want to listen to none of your gibberish. When I answer the phone I was polite at first but dealing with Asian customers is a test for anyone.

I couldn’t speak a word of English when I started and the boss busted me good time. But then he realised he needs me more than I need him.

My training was simple… I was asked to learn one sentence… ‘Do you want garlic, chilli and salad with that?’ Worst thing is even after saying this fifty thousand times people still want you ask them.

This lady told the manager, ‘Oh I have a complaint. The man didn’t ask me if I wanted garlic, chilli and salad’.

Then it happens - a bloke comes in, orders a fantastic deal, takes a bite of out of it and wants a refund. Look brother, it doesn’t work like that.

We still give him his new food. You know what happens next? He tells everyone how bad we are.

The middle-aged Asian women are the worst. They want the food perfect and then moan about the little things… like ‘why there was a toenail’ in the kebab.

Well, **** *** is all I can say. Cook it yourself at home then. In fact what are you doing here in the first place? I came here to have the food cooked for me and now I must wait on ‘them’.

On the delivery if you are three seconds late and all hell breaks loose. Just last week I had to deliver two pizzas and three kebab rolls to a guy who lives fifty yards from the shop. Lazy ******.

Some people want you to give them the food for free! Regular customers can be such a pain wanting a discount almost every visit.

Hey, when I come to your business do you give me one penny off? No, we have to beg like stinking dogs to get some money off and you make us feel guilty for ever asking.

The long hours are getting to me now. I hate the nights when the drunks visit. We have to be really polite with some of them even when they call me P*** under their breath.

The other night one guy urinated in the corner. I cleaned it up and then made his food with the same hands. That’ll teach him.

As the evenings come to a close – it has been another back-breaking night. The next day is my one day off for the week.

To put the nail into the coffin I go shopping with my wife. She blows all my money on some pointless rubbish for her cousin.

I make the kebab, I serve the kebab, you eat the kebab and then you come back for more kebab. Circle of life.