Asian Time

Yes, I know we have tried to change and become a little more professional but don’t you just love it when people’s plans go pear-shaped because of Asian time.

You could plan things for months but everyone knows some smart Kodu is going to screw everything up.

‘What time does it start?’…. ‘Twelve’.

‘What time does it really start?’…. ‘I told you twelve’ ‘Okay, what time is the food served?’… ‘Twelve’ You know for a fact this guy and his family are going to saunter in at two.

Asian time is a really screwed up concept for non-Asians. They just don’t get it.

The worse thing is, even they end-up turning up late because they heard of this thing called ‘Asian time’. But their 15 minutes still means they arrive a full hour before any other guest.

Dads are best at Asian time. They will sit in the front room having a smoke, purposely setting off late. And then drive up to the place and sit in the car to really take the ****.

It doesn’t finish there. They will enter the hall look around and if it still isn’t full – then decide to go for a gander to the shops.

Other times they will tell everyone to turn up at their house at five. But they only come home themselves at six. Pure genius really.

The most mind-numbingly annoying thing about Asian time is when people completely and utterly ruin everything.

It could be the most perfect wedding ever organised.

Thousands has been spent on making the day magnificent but the wedding will only last an hour as the bloody groom strolled in at 2.30pm. And they have to be out of the hall by 4pm!

Deep down we are laughing at the misfortune.

People blame Asian time on organisers. Yes, we do have folk who will tell everyone to come at six and then start the event at nine the next morning.

But nowadays Asian time is embarrassing. The funniest thing is those people who turn up an hour later than planned because ‘they thought ‘the event would start late as Asians were organising it.’ They then mope around for the rest of the evening moaning that they wasted £20 because the show started at 7pm like it said on the ticket. Yeah…we really feel sorry for you.

Asian time...it’s in our blood.