Dear Massi, My wife has put on a lot of weight recently. It has been gradual so she hasn’t really noticed.

The shocking thing is that she now weighs more than me.

There is something really disgusting in that.

She is in denial and says the weighing scales are wrong.

She used to wear trousers to work, but ever since she stopped working, she wears shalwar kameez, so she can’t really feel the difference in her clothes.

I have an early start to my job, so I always fall asleep before her.

I found out that when I sleep she snacks on junk food while she watches Netflix as she started hiding the wrappers from me.

I found a whole mess hidden behind the radiator.

When I confronted her she shouted at me to leave her alone.

What do you say is a good way to handle this?

Massi Says: It is understandable that you are concerned about your wife’s weight gain.

However, confronting her and embarrassing her is NOT the right approach.

The fact that your wife resorts to eating behind your back is indicative of your unhelpful attitude towards her.

Rather than approaching your wife negatively, be kind.

Suggest that you both exercise or go for walks together.

Take a united approach and you may well find it is better for both of you.

However, if your wife is not receptive to this, understand that it is her body and she can only decide to lose weight if she feels inclined that way herself.

You cannot force her to lose weight.

Losing weight is not easy and you really do need to change your attitude towards your wife.