A woman says the stigma of putting elderly family members into a care home needs to be challenged.

The woman wanted to share her experiences in the hope it would help the local community in Lancashire to provide more services for people in her position.

She said her parents are carers for an elderly family member. In recent months the condition of their elderly relative has deteriorated.

“She lives in her own house and suffers from Alzheimer’s. Her husband passed away and as her only relatives we are taking care of her.

“My parents and I are responsible for feeding her and bathing her.

“We get 20 hours a week of help but it simply is not enough and I feel my mum finds the whole experience very stressful.

“But it has come to a point where we don’t want to find a care home but we will have to for her own safety. This is not about us not wanting to take care of her but what if she falls and breaks a leg?

“Even now she forgets to go the wash room or get changed. It is really upsetting to see.”

She said her mother gets upset at the thought of putting her in a home.

“It is upsetting my mum and it is upsetting me too. It is not easy but you have to have some courage. You don’t want to but you have to.

“It is not as if you don’t want to take care of them. But you don’t have a choice sometimes.

“My mum has been doing this for three or four years.

“Even thinking about asking for outside help is making her cry.”

She said the wider community including mosques needed to help with changing people’s views.

“At the moment there is a lot of stigma attached to any family that even considers putting their relative in a care home.

“I would ask all the mosques to get involved and look at this issue in Preston for older people over the age of 50.

“No other family has come forward and taking actual care is different.

“I want every single mosque and their members to think, why is it a stigma if you have to put someone in a care home?

“People don’t understand how difficult it becomes. People don’t realise how desperate this can get.”

She said the lack of facilities for those from an Asian and Muslim background had worried her.

“We have looked for a care home that caters for her cultural and religious needs and there isn’t one as far as we are aware.

“There needs to be an effort to establish a home where we can look to take care of our own community.

“There will be other people like ourselves. They don’t want to let it out. Or people will say they don’t care about their parents anymore.

“People don’t talk about the facts in the home. They don’t know what is happening behind the scenes.

“We would like something where halal food is served and some people of the same culture who can speak Gujerati.

“I would like it for the Asians and Muslims to have something done. Not something that is just talked about it.”

She added that after much thought they had decided to take care of their relative as much as they could, “In our case we don’t want to send her to a home. As much as we can we will help and then if it comes to the very very last stage then we will consider it.”

Anyone who can assist the family is asked to call Asian Image and we will aim to pass your details on.