It took me a long time to admit this to myself as it's the worst thing a mother could possibly say.

I have two children. It's my younger one that causes me so much anxiety that I frequently lock myself in the bathroom and cry silently.

We were hit instantly if we spoke like that to our mum but I would never use physical punishment on my own children. I know how traumatic that is from experience.

But I know he would not be so cocky if he had that fear. 

I know I'm the parent and I'm the one who needs to be in control.

But I find it scary that this teenage boy talks to me as rudely as his father does. 

I know it's learnt behaviour but I have tried to change his dad but he doesn't think he does anything wrong.

Now my son is the same. He sees nothing wrong with talking back to me or raising his voice at me. 

I am already walking on eggshells around my husband. I refuse to let this kid have the same effect on me. 

But he's so horrible. My eldest son is so calm and gentle. 

I feel like the tantrums and the aggressive tone he takes with me are slowly breaking me down. 

I am emotionally drained which impacts my physical health.

I have started hating him for putting me through this emotional hell.

I even think if he's like this now, I dread to think how he will treat his own wife when he's older. 

I could easily blame my husband but that won't solve my problem. 

Where does the blame game stop? Do I blame my parents for choosing this man to be my husband?

No. That's a pointless thought process.  My son is what I need to change. 

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