If you ever wanted to see the best and worst amongst us then you only have to check out blue shalwar kameez guy. This outfit is worn by two types of people.

The first is your average run of the mill top lad who will bend over backwards to help his fellow human being. The kind of guy who is a modern-day superman. He may as well have that ‘S’ imprinted on the front of his kameez.

They are genuinely the best guys to have around in a crisis and they will help you no matter what. Some compliment their sky blue shalwar kameez with white slip-ons and a black velvet suit jacket. It is a look of a true gentleman and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

And then there is the other blue shalwar kameez guy. The k****r. Like a hurricane - when he gets going you need to take cover.

If there is any scrap anywhere you can be sure this son of a ***** will have either started the whole fight or will be right in the middle of it.

The secret to sky blue shalwar kameez guy is that he does need to wear the full outfiit to be a ****. Sometimes it is just the bottoms with a t-shirt or just the top with some joggers. Either way when you come across this guy in full flow you are unlikely to forget it.

If you look back through the ages you are more than likely to find this guy in the middle of history’s greatest events. The funny thing is he always manages to get away with it. Every single time.

In the nineties at the height of the mela season this man was in his own element.

He is now normally seen giving it large at gatherings or anywhere there is a small audience where he can let off some steam.

The only time I actually like this guy is when he faces-off with Jubah ******. It is like seeing a rampant tiger putting a hyena in its place.

Whilst some readers will now have reached the stage of the article where you think I am denigrating a respected outfit, I am not.

Like I said, sky blue shalwar kameez guys come in TWO types.

The fantastic great guy and the number one c**t. Who you meet on what day is just kismat.