When it comes to massaging our own ego’s we are in a different league.

The thing is - we all think we are better than we are. But there is nothing more sickening than the folk who big it up Asian style.  A little talent goes a long way it seems.

From giving it large on social media to making out they are some sort of godfather at a wedding…we know exactly how to blow our own trumpet.

Much of this vanity has much to do with their forefathers. Some of them had a habit of lying their chudees off.

Asians and subtlety do not go together. We want the world to know how great we are even when we aren’t.

Thirty years ago when someone wanted to kiss **** he or she did it in the safety of their front rooms. You know at family gatherings when bonehead would drown himself in his own self-importance.

We would sit there whilst Cha Cha ‘I love myself’ would proceed to tell us how everyone else should bow down before him. Then concluding with a few MashAllahs for good measure.

This vanity has morphed into something truly hideous. As soon as we discovered Facebook, Instagram and Snap Chat we Asians gave a whole new meaning to the word ‘humility’.

Now, we proceed to post cringe worthy posts about ‘I am just so great that I did this fantastic work for charity but I didn’t want anyone to know about it, but I thought I would post it here to inspire young people to get up and do something with their lives rather than sit at home and write messages whilst getting slaps from their mums.”

One minute they are posting about how humble they are and the next they are talking about why they didn’t get an MBE ‘because they didn’t want one.’ 
This vanity is engrained in the Asian psyche I’m afraid. It makes me want to do a grade one ultee in my mouth.

We want to be known as all sincere and all so humble but at the same time we want people to love us… “Oh love me because I bent over last night and picked some litter up on the way home. 

“Please please please feel sympathy for me. I just want to let the world know that I don’t want any attention but I want you all to leave friendly comments telling me what a wonderful soul I am.

“I must constantly post stuff on here to tell you how busy I am so you all feel a sense of jealousy that my life turned out a lot better than yours.”

Tooee wich ghu nahee Kawan nu saynean.