Dear Massi,  Ever since I've been engaged, my fiancée  has really let herself go. 

She doesn't dress up anymore and she has let her hair go grey. 

I do love her, but I don’t want to be with someone who has started resembling a buddhi when we’re both only in our 30’s.

She says if I really loved her, none of this would matter, but I’m a bloke and honestly, looks are important to us.

What do you think I should do?

Massi says, You are naturally entitled to your opinion and your own likes and dislikes are very personal to you.

You have chosen to articulate them to the woman you have promised to spend the rest of your life with.

Her response indicates that she is content within herself and that she does not feel the need to conform to your ideal of beauty.

How your fiancée decides to present herself is her choice and your demeaning and critical tone is unfair and superficial.

Ask yourself, are your feelings for your fiancée based largely on how she looked before your engagement and can you still love her unconditionally if she continues to maintain herself as she feels comfortable.

Your fiancée deserves to be loved by somebody who will not be judgemental as you have been.

It is time for you to be honest with yourself and honest with her too.