Dear Massi, My wife has a terrible habit about lying about her cooking. She never cooks but brings home food from her mum’s and passes it off as her own. 

Last week my parents came over for dinner and my wife served food cooked by her mum, as usual and she also served frozen kebabs that she defrosted in the microwave. 

When my mum asked her what she put in the keema mix for the kebabs my wife sat there lying to my mum about the ingredients. I was angry that she was fooling my mum and my mum was believing her. 

I went to the freezer and took out the packet of frozen kebabs and showed my mum that this is how her daughter-in-law made these wonderful kebabs. 

My wife lost her temper and ripped open the packet and threw all ten frozen kebabs at me in front of my mum.  My mum excused herself from the table and left. She hasn’t mentioned it since.

My wife still isn’t talking to me but how do I make her understand that I’m the one who should be angry, not her.

Massi says, This situation has unnecessarily become exacerbated.

You say your wife frequently claims to cook food that she hasn’t actually prepared, therefore, on the occasion of this dinner it wasn’t entirely unexpected. 

It is understandable that you were perturbed by the lies your wife told your mother, but understand that she was not trying to be malicious but rather was trying to get out of an embarrassing situation.

Rather than exposing her in such a blatant manner, a little bit of tact could have gone a long way. You could have spoken to your wife privately after your parents had left to tell her how you feel.

Speak to your wife calmly and explain why you were upset. Tell her you understand why she is not talking to you, but that you should both reach a compromise in future about what is or isn’t divulged to guests about the food she serves.