Dear Massi, I love my husband very much. He is a very kind and gentle man, and he never swears.

We only speak English to each other.

But when we are intimate he turns into a different man and starts swearing at me in Punjabi.

It's like an involuntary action. He comes out with some really filthy swear words.

At first I used to get really upset, but when I spoke to him about it, he says he doesn't even know he does it.

I enjoy being with him, but how can I stop the swearing from happening again? P.

Massi Says, I can understand how your husband's language can be disconcerting for you.

You also explain that your husband never uses profanities outside of moments of intimacy.

Rather than feeling upset by his words, understand that when your husband swears it may well be his way of expressing his 'intimacy'.

He is completely in the moment and has surrendered to the uninhibited energy.

His words heighten his experience when he is with you.

He is not asking you to reciprocate the dialogue, so try not to let it ruin your sexual experience.

If it does upset you still then you may need to speak to a specialist but of course you will need your husband to approve this. As I mentioned it may well be heightening his experience.