My Story: I got told it is better to marry 'a bad Muslim man than a good non-Muslim man'

I have met someone who works with me but he is not a Muslim. We get on really well and have been talking for a number of months. Him being a non-Muslim is a big problem for some people. It is okay for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman but not the other way around.

Before you say anything, no, I am not a ‘coconut’ and I was brought up in a traditional household with traditional values.

The major problem is that Muslim men are pushing Muslim women away with their constant hypocrisy. They want Muslim women to stick to certain ideals whilst at the same time keep the traditions of their cultural heritage alive.

I have been introduced to Muslim men and from my experience they have far too many hang-ups due to what their family and wider friends might think about their partner.

Even my friends who are married to Muslim men agree, if they were to be honest, that they wish they had an opportunity to marry someone who was not from their religion.

Our Muslim men have huge issues with control and wanting to dictate what and how we live. This is not about freedom but about basic respect.

All I see is Muslim men trying their best to hold onto the religion and culture by controlling what their women wear and how they act. When I read comments on social media I see Muslim men trying to tell other Muslim women what they should do, rather than thinking about their own families first.

Muslim men are putting off many Muslim women who are far more educated than they are.

Why would I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who does not appreciate me and wants me to live a life of solitude so he can say to his parents what a good wife he has?

I have been told by my cousins that my friend will end up in hell because he is a non-Muslim. They say he will never be accepted by the community and that I am sinning by even considering marrying this man.

I got told it is better to marry a bad Muslim man than a good non-Muslim man.

He is a good man and someone who respects me for what I am and treats me better than any Muslim man I have met. His family are also supportive and have welcomed me.

Why can’t people just be happy for us? And why am I being ignored and told that I cannot marry this man even if he is a good person?

Why am I being made to feel so horrible for wanting to marry a good person?

Our My Story series features letters and posts from readers which they wish to share with others. To be included here please e-mail: news@asianimage.co.uk. Posts will remain anonymous.