Guests have spoken of their frustration at having to attend too many Asian weddings.

Many will be familiar with the fact that many Asian weddings can take place over two days with receptions for both the bride and groom.

Leading up to the wedding we have celebrations throughout the week and then the wedding day followed normally by a walima which is hosted by the groom.

Some guests have spoken out over the number of weddings they had to attend with one enlightened reader telling us how he hoped that people should accept his money via bank transfer and text first before sending the invite out.

Sufyan said he attended 17 wedding receptions in the summer.

“In June, July and August I had to go to 17 different events which included the wedding days themselves and then the walima reception.

“These were cousins and family friends and after the first few weddings it became very difficult but I had no choice. Having attended the weddings from my side of the family I had to attend those from her side of the family.”

Sufyan believes that there should be a ‘new system’ which allows us to pay the bride and groom without having to attend.

“Rather than invite us why not find out if you are willing to attend. Send a text out and ask politely if you can attend if not, then please send your gifts to this address or transfer money from to a particular account.

“It would save people like me the headache of having to attend and save them £20 per head for having to feed me. I would save time – they save money and instead of inviting 1000 people they could cut that down to 600.”

He added, “A lot of people attend and do not appreciate the effort the bride and groom go through.

“I have seen people eat like animals and make a mess because for them it is just another day. Same starters, same curry, same hall.”

Aneel admits he is now a ‘messenger’ for his family.

“My dad gets invited to so many weddings and now he just gives me some money and I go and hand it to the bride and groom.

“At one wedding last month I took seven people’s money and handed it in different envelopes to the groom’s family. This was from my wider family members who used me as their messenger and delivery man.

“My dad just got sick of attending all the weddings and he is getting invites from people we barely know. My mum who loved to attend these events also hates them now.”

Aneel says things have become so cumbersome for most families. “It is the same wedding halls and the food is the same and you meet the same people.

“My dad says when he was young, a wedding meant you could go and volunteer and help out at least. It was a way of giving back to the family.

“I agree that we should be asked if we are able to attend and then if not, no offence should be taken and we should be able to send the money to the family.”

Halima got married earlier in the year and said she was constantly battling with her family who wanted to manage the guest list.

“My parents felt obliged to invite people to the wedding – many of whom we had not spoken to in years.

“There is the shame of missing someone out. We feel that if we don’t invite that person then they will start talking about us.

“On the day itself some of these people did not turn up whilst others did not care about the effort we put in and sat anywhere.

“Other people ignored the card and brought their whole family when we said only two should turn up.

“We had to pay £35 per head for these seats but was it worth it? It was a waste of money.”

Iftikhar told of us he has spent several thousand pounds on just attending weddings. He said,“If you are holding a wedding you are going to spend thousands. I spent £1800 buying outfits for my family just to attend the wedding and that does not include the travelling and hotel costs involved going to two of them.

“We are not wealthy but people expect you to attend regardless.

“Everyone knows that our weddings are huge events and they can take up the whole day. Who has time to attend five weddings in a month?

“If it is close family then fine but this blanket approach of inviting everyone and anyone is not fair on us.”