It was the Next Sale again lat weekend and I wanted to make available the key themes for young mums and their men folk for future reference.
Women.
Dealing with guilty and envy. 
Don’t. It’s that simple. Pick up as many items as you can – if that cute skirt isn’t in your trolley it will be in somebody else’s.
The scarf wearing lady jabbing you behind with her pram is no friend, besides your husband is always at hand to return what you don’t want.
When you dump enough cloths to dress an small primary school at the pay point – take in all the stares and visual daggers in your stride satisfied you are nearly done and can get to the M&S queue too.
Whilst ignoring the queue jumpers is like swallowing as your own phlegm (sorry) just do it – there are bigger tests ahead.
Beware the early bird.
The queue that seems sane in the early hours quickly resembles something at a British Embassy in the developing world closer to opening times.
Look ‘latecomer-looking-for-a-friend’ we are well aware you last met your ‘friend’ 23 years ago in the adjacent cot in the hospital delivery ward. We are just too polite to say.
Dealing with the mother-in-law: Mother-in-laws no longer have energy to shop – but still have the desire to shop.
Daughter-in-laws want to avoid the critical scanning (laced with envy).
Some daughter-in-laws use subterfuge to get around the prying eyes – taking two bags into the house to throw everyone off the scent and then sneak the other 19 into the bedroom.
Beware of leaving them in the  car for too long. Husbands will ‘inadvertently’ open the boot as they give their mothers a lift home.
Men folk

Just agree.
Conclude all discussions with “What time and where?” add authority by saying “Make sure you are on time’.
Preserve some energy for bargain sifting at a later date, and to listen to why a particular dress would be very good for Imran’s wedding in six months’ time/trip to see cousins/school party.
I am sure you are aware of the stock engagement phrases:  “Does [colour] suit him/her”, “That looks [big/small]”.
One particular favourite is “You like that style don’t you?” which implies depth and you have been tracking her buying history.
The really profound one is “What do you think?”.
Correctly said it  brings forth bearly conscious rational and has immense healing  powers.
The Next Sale is a great preparation for any religious pilgrimage of any faith.
Patience, planning, dealing with crowds, those that cheat – it’s all in there.