Gonna be a rough month for the brothers and sisters but whilst some us may welcome the holy month of fasting for others it is an excuse not to change and simply take advantage.

You get several types of fasters my friends: Angry Faster: This fellow (or sister) cannot handle going without food and drink for a day. Rather than realise they have issues they take it out on you. Avoid these people with a vengeance. Especially around sevenish.

Sympathy Faster: These people come out of the woodwork and want sympathy for almost any sort of work because..wait for it…they got a roza. Almost any task becomes a burden and they want the whole world to know they are fasting.

Secret Faster: It’s a long fast but a little too long for some people. At home they are all like… ‘Mashallah…the beautiful month is upon us’ and at work or college they are munching away in secret. Best of all is secret smoker faster. He saunters in at Iftari time all dehydrated stinking of fags.

Smoke Faster: It is tough giving up smoking but this is the perfect time to try. Some folk simply don’t get it though do they? As soon as they open their 19 hour fast they rush out to have the first smoke of the day… ‘Did you feel that buzz? What do you call that?’ …It’s called you’re a complete idiot.

Hardcore Faster: You gotta love these fellows. One minute they are trying to rob you and the next they are fasting as if there is no tomorrow. The fast makes them experts in religion…almost anything breaks their fast and they make everything about charity.

‘I got a flu bro…’ faster: A good way to get out of fasting is to pretend you have some sort of illness. The other 11 months of the year he is monkeying about and come Ramadan he is miraculously ill.

No girlfriend this month faster: Hey, every little helps. All year round he’s like the party animal and then starts to fast and he’s changed. The stubble is growing and the illicit texts have stopped. He has morphed in to Jubbah faster and she into a Hijab faster.

Social Media Faster: A new breed this lot. They spend all evening posting religious stuff to make it seem they have turned over a new leaf. Suddenly almost anything is haram apart from the very activity they are involved in.

Oh well, Eid is on the way and we can soon forget about what we learned about humility, kindness and charity.

Peace to all.