Dear Massi, I am really angry. I am in-between jobs at the moment. My wife was working before. She is now a homemaker.
She managed to save her money plus her parents are always giving her money as gifts.
Since I lost my job, I don't really have much money left and can't contribute to the household bills.
My wife is pretty much running the household with her money.
I am optimistic about getting a new job soon, but what has angered me is that she told her best friend that we're living off her savings.
Her best friend went and told her husband.
When he saw me next, he made stupid, demeaning comments to me, joking about how my wife wears the pants and that I'm nothing better than a 'ghar jamai.'
I never liked him before anyway, but my wife has completely emasculated me by telling her best friend something so personal.
I don't know how to deal with this feeling.
Massi says, First of all, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you have lost your job.
There are plenty of people who are or who have been in the same position as you.
Understand that it is natural for your wife to confide in her best friend. Presumably that conversation was a confidential one.
Her best friend may also have told her husband in confidence, not knowing that he would say anything to you.
The pressure your are feeling from not working is going to have an impact on your wife and it seems she simply wanted to share her feelings. Revealing your personal financial situation was not done out of malice or contempt for you.
Tell your wife that you understand she will have private conversations with her best friend, but ask her to ensure it goes no further.
You say you are actively looking for a new job. Focus your efforts on that rather than letting this episode consume your energy.
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