Dear Massi, My mother-in-law refuses to babysit my children.

She says my son is rude to her and pulls her hair. She says my daughter doesn't listen to her and that my children make too much mess on her carpet and walls and that they ruined her sofa.

I think she's being so selfish. She is missing out on bonding with them. I need some time to myself. Plus, I think it is her duty to look after her grandchildren. When I told her that, she said it was my fault for spoiling the kids.

I'm so angry with that woman, I don't know what to do.

Massi says, It is understandable that you want your children to have a relationship with their grandmother.

Explain to your children that they are expected to behave a certain way when visiting their grandmother.

Also, when you collect your children, ensure that you tidy up any mess made by them so as to set an example to your children whilst also making the process easier for your mother-in-law.

Tell your mother-in-law that perhaps you can work out a system that she babysits them on occasion, but if she feels she is unable to manage the children, then she can call you immediately rather than becoming increasingly stressed.

Perhaps your mother-in-law would be more receptive to smaller of doses of babysitting.