Dear Massi, I just turned 44. My mum won’t let me get married.

She says no-one she has met is good enough for me.

I know though that’s she’s afraid if I get married, all my attention will be on my wife and then my mum will feel lonely.

It’s only me and my mum at home.

Whenever I mention marriage, my mum starts saying things to make me feel guilty, that I’m being selfish and that my duty is to care for her. She thinks a wife will ruin my relationship with my mum.

I don’t know what to do.

Massi says, It is unfair for you to have to put your life on hold.

It is very noble of you to look after your mother in such an attentive manner. However, this can also be continued without compromising your happiness. 

Reassure your mother that when you get married, you would still want her to be involved in your life.

Try and encourage your mother to get involved in social groups and outings as it would be healthy for her to keep busy in activities that don’t necessarily revolve around you.