Dear Massi, I am supposed to be getting married in a few months but my fiancée is making my life miserable. 

She wants me to lose weight for the wedding so she dictates what I eat. When I take her out, she won’t let me order chips or mayonnaise. 

I’m never allowed dessert. I literally eat secretly.

She says I have to look perfect for the wedding day.

But she won’t even let me eat food that she doesn’t like.

She doesn’t like fish so I’m not allowed to eat it.

At a family dinner she took a kebab out of my mouth in front of the whole family.

She makes me send her pictures of me on the weighing scale and she is always pinching around my waist to see how much fat there is.

I hate being controlled in this way. But she says she is doing it because she loves me and cares for my health. I am really confused because this doesn’t feel like love to me.

Massi says: Whilst taking care of your health is a positive thing, being forced to make radical decisions against your will can lead to negative feelings on your part about the process.

If you wish to lose weight, this should be your decision and you should embark upon a regime that suits you.

Talk to your fiancée and tell her that you appreciate her efforts and that you understand she cares about you, but explain clearly that her methods are having an adverse effect on you.

Tell her candidly that getting married for you is not about looking perfect on the wedding day, but rather is a celebration of you wanting to spend your lives together.