Dear Massi, My mother-in-law complains that my husband changes the nappies.

She spoke to him alone and told him I am a lazy wife. She said changing nappies is embarrassing for a man, it’s inappropriate and too feminine. I’m furious.

My husband told me she is just old fashioned and not to worry as he will continue to change our son’s nappy.

I appreciate his support but I hate knowing that this is how my mother-in-law feels. Should I speak to her?

Massi says, It is understandable that you are upset with her stance. 

Try and understand that your mother-in-law grew up with a different approach and may not have experienced this kind of help from her own husband, making this a new concept for her. 

As difficult as she finds it to digest, your husband has told his mother that he will carry on changing nappies. But understand that her mindset is unlikely to change.

You and your husband are both united on this. Speaking to your mother-in-law will only aggravate the situation.