Dear Massi, My husband can’t seem to understand why I am so angry with him.

My birthday and his ex-wife’s birthday are a month apart. My husband bought me a Chanel No. 5 which I love and was something I wanted.

When his ex-wife came over to drop off the kids, I smelt the same perfume on her.
I asked her what perfume it was, and she said it was Chanel No. 5 and then she said he gave it to her on her birthday.

I didn’t say anything to her but I went mad at my husband.

First of all I didn’t know he was buying his ex gifts, and second of all, why is he buying us the same thing? Does he want me to smell like her or something? 

He says I am making a big deal out of this and that he only bought both perfumes because there was a special offer on. Should I forgive him?

Massi says, Whilst the gesture may seem to be an insensitive one, it appears that your husband was simply trying to buy gifts that he hoped would be well received.

To avoid a repeat of this, tell your husband that although it is kind of him to buy his ex-wife a birthday present, ask him not to purchase the same thing for his ex-wife as he does for you as that makes you feel uncomfortable.

As there are children involved, it is a positive thing that your husband maintains an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and in doing so acknowledges her birthday with a gift. 

Rather than seeing his actions as hurtful, try and understand that he was trying to do a good thing.