Dear Massi, My mother-in-law complained about me to my husband and I’m really upset.

She accused me of only doing housework when my husband is home and said when he’s at work I’m a kaam chor (work shy) and that I sit around all day watching videos on the iPad. 

Everything she has said is true but she has no right to complain to my husband.

She even told him I have a cleaner. I don’t know how she found about my cleaner. No-one knows about her. 

Does it make any difference how the house is cleaned as long as it is cleaned?

My husband doesn’t need to know whether I clean it or I pay someone else to clean it.

I am so angry because my husband won’t tell his mum to mind her own business. 

I don’t what to say to him or to her.

Massi says, You have absolutely every right to run your home as you see fit.

Interference from your mother-in-law in this way is unfair on you and is creating unnecessary tension.

Understand that your mother-in-law may be set in her ways and her respective traditions and may not understand that your lifestyle is different to her own experiences.

As frustrating as her stance is, as long as you and your husband are united, try not to let his mum’s words affect you adversely.