Dear Massi, I have been in a relationship for a few years and now I want to get married.

We are both in our mid 30’s and want to start a family.

The problem I have is my parents refuse to let me get married until my older sister gets married first. 

They think it will make her even less marriageable if the younger brother gets married first. My parents are so concerned with what other people will say or think that they are selfishly putting my life on hold.

It’s not my fault my sister hasn’t found anyone. Why should I suffer because she is still single?

I don’t know how to convince my parents without it turning into yet another argument.

Massi says, This is indeed a sensitive matter for your parents.

Whilst you are making a valid point, it is important to convey this with empathy rather than in a defensive or hostile manner.

Talk to your parents when it is an appropriate time and explain to them calmly that you understand their point of view, but not allowing you to get married is not going to change your sister’s status.

Explain that you would like them to enjoy being grandparents, but you will only start a family once you are married.