Dear Massi, My wife is so controlling and dominating, I am finding it claustrophobic now.

I know to keep my eyes down when we are out shopping or to avoid looking at a good looking woman on TV.

She has come into the office to check how many women work there and if they are pretty. She only backed off because the women I work with are older than me.

Now every time I travel on the train, she wants me to send her a selfie to prove I am not sitting next to a woman on my journey.

I asked her what she thought was going to happen on a public train if I sat next to a woman who is a complete stranger.

She has no reason not to trust me, but ever since her sister’s husband cheated on her, she thinks I’ll do the same.

I don’t know what to do about this extreme behaviour.

Massi says, Trust in a marriage is not built on sending selfies as proof of your loyalty.

It is understandable that you feel exasperated by your wife’s demands.
However, conceding to every ‘extreme’ request is not going to resolve the core issue.

Your wife’s paranoia needs to be addressed.

Talk to your wife and explain calmly that you, as you pointed out, have never given her reason to doubt your fidelity.

The catalyst for this level of scrutiny may well have been because her sister’s husband cheated on her, but tell your wife clearly that you have empathy for her sister and would never condone the behaviour of her husband.

Reassure her that you love her and tell her that her demands are unnecessary and are only creating a strain in your relationship.