Dear Massi, I have put on quite a lot of weight in the last 6 months.

I accept that I need to lose weight, but my wife is putting so much pressure on me.

She has a family wedding coming up and she wants me to lose weight by then.

She says she's embarrassed of her family seeing how big I have become.

I have tried to lose weight, but the harder I try the more I seem to gain.

Now she has threatened to stop sleeping with me until I lose two stones.

I think she is being really cruel but she won't listen to me.

Maybe you can suggest something.

Massi says, Your wife is clearly concerned about you and you also have acknowledged the problem.

However, her critical and threatening approach is unhelpful.

Tell her that her attitude is creating more of an obstacle for you and that you are more likely to see more positive results if she is supportive. 

Suggest that she get involved in your weight loss regime, whether it be exercising together or eating low fat meals together. 

A united approach may well yield the desired effect.