Dear Massi,  My older sister-in-law was the only bahoo (daughter-in-law) for five years. Now it’s like she is jealous that all the attention isn’t on her. 

She got on really well with my husband up until recently. They were good friends.

Now he doesn’t give her that kind of attention she got before our wedding and it seems she’ll do anything to get his attention.

When we went to the house, my husband mentioned he had a headache. 

Within a minute my sister-in-law started massaging his head. He told her to stop and said he would get me to give him a massage.

She made a comment under her breath about how my massages would never be as good as hers.

Another time when we went over, she said she needed to talk to him urgently and asked him to come to her room. I was downstairs with the parents.

He told me she locked the door and started crying and hugging him and started complaining about her husband to him.

She said she wished she had met my husband first as the two of them are better suited. My husband walked out of the room and told her that she should start behaving like his bhabi.

Things have been so awkward since then, I just don’t know what to do.

Massi says: It seems you have understood the situation well and that jealousies have arisen from lack of attention.

Whilst you are understandably concerned, it is better for your husband to handle the situation himself. 

He has been transparent and told you everything that has happened.

He has also taken a firm stance with your sister-in-law to try and conclude the matter and set boundaries.

Things may be uncomfortable, but that will soon pass.

It is likely your sister-in-law feels embarrassed at having been reproached by your husband.

Rather than aggravate a situation that has already been dealt with, leave it be and focus your attention on your husband.