Dear Massi, My brother is having a terrible time with his wife.  He always looks stressed and unhappy. 

His wife is always ordering him around.  She thinks she can get away with it because she's so pretty and she's always telling him he should be grateful she agreed to marry him as she could have done so much better.

We called them round for dinner at our house and my sister-in-law got really upset that he left her alone for twenty minutes to talk privately to my parents. 

She didn't want to help me clear up the dishes so I left her watching TV. 

When my brother came down she started shouting at him in front of my parents. 

She said he was a bad husband for neglecting her and that she deserved to be treated like a princess and that he should never leave her side like this.

Then she called him a "p*****d" and a "ch*****ya" in front of my parents. My parents are really old and just stayed quiet out of shock. 

My brother took her out of the house quickly.

We think he should leave her but how do you think we should tell him?

Massi says, It is understandable that you and you parents are upset by this recent episode and it is only natural for you to be concerned about your brother.

However, the issues between your brother and his wife remain personal ones and it is up to him to manage the situation accordingly.

Interfering in your brother's marriage may leave you at risk of distancing your brother from you unless he has articulated his concerns to you himself.

Let you brother know that you will always support him and that his family will always be there for him.

Any decisions regarding their marriage, however, need to be made by the two people directly concerned- him and his wife.