No longer the type to do things without due planning but I don't reflect my parents being like this .

What has brought about this generational change? My friends are similar - so it's not just me. We may have absorb aspects of the wider society around us which has greater awareness of administrative and planning.

Has this culture seeped into our social DNA? Perhaps we have a one way ticket to where the nuclear family is most important? Has the Asian Community to become more achievement focus than it traditional people orientated?

In the past local standing was important, how you were perceived by the community had bearing and hospitality had currency. 'Making room' for unannounced guests just the way it was. It had positive and negative aspects.

The upside was nourished friendships, open ended discussion and a room full of smokers debating the mosque elections and yes 'passion'. People believed. The downside though was lower achievement, smaller houses, frugal shopping habits and no holidays (Blackpool and airport runs aside).

Let me give an example of what might have happened in yesteryear.

It's the school holidays and as a child you have nothing better to do than…well nothing. You have visited the library, you have gone swimming and now rest of the weeks stares out like a vast of ocean of emptiness. Completely caught off guard, there is some quick activities, some quite conversations and suddenly a wave a energy rushes over you as mum asks you to get ready to go to your cousins.

Dad is up at 11am because of all the noise and decided he may as well stay awake until the 10pm shift start..

He gets the car ready mum the children. 20 minutes later you are at the other side of town even before even a salutation - you rush to see Vinny your ten year old cousin and the rest is a haze: Vinny takes you to see his mate Jay who has three new goldfish, Jay was a new cricket bat his uncle brought back from Pakistan. A cricket game is arranged and before you know it it's 5pm.

Tired you and Vinny go back home, your five year old sister is colouring and playing with the baby, dad has been helping fix Uncles car and mum and Aunty have just returned from visiting a neighbour who's sister's cousin passed away three months ago in Karachi. All seems to be going swimmingly well, its nearly 8pm and just as you are about the leave mum asks what's in your sisters hand.

She has decided the new colouring pens were too nice to leave behind really belong with her. # Her grip tightens as she knows she will be asked to return them. Aunty makes a brave face and says 'it doesnt matter' and 'she will buy some more' but she knows that her own children will hold her to account.

They are already making awkward attempts to take the pens back. Mum negotiates and tries to prises the pens out promising a trip to the shop first thing (a lie) and having no luck threaten to call the police.

Dad returns from the car. He raises his voice, takes the pens and hands them back. All the love seen in last few hours is confused with an urge to have something someone else has and a wailing child is put in the car and dads lectures are starting..'next time you are going to spend your holidays reading…'.