In 2011 Gary Speed, aged only 42, was found dead a hist home in Cheshire.  A man who lived a dream football career.
A successful manager of the Welsh National team....what ordeal could he have been going through which in turn led him to take his own life?
In the BBC3 documentary ‘Footballs Suicide Secret’, presented by Clarke Carlisle, the chairman of the Professional Footballers Association (PFA), Speed’s sister Lesley spoke about her brother’s tragic death.
“If someone had asked me if I thought my brother was depressed I would have said no, absolutely not.  From what I know now about depression and suicide, of course he was depressed. He hid it from us”.
GARY SPEED – A SILENT SUFFERER.  DIED AGED 42.
DEPRESSION - A word secreted and hidden in football.
DEPRESSION – Something that makes many uneasy.
DEPRESSION – Can affect 1 in 4 of any one of US.
DEPRESSION – The Dark Side of football.
There is one taboo in football that carries much reluctance; one that no-one really wants to talk about – Mental Illness. 
However, the stigma attached to Mental health is not merely just within the game – sadly it is within society as a whole, which through 15 years of caring for my twin brother (whose case is to the extent of requiring 1:1 care) I know all so well. 
Perceptions, fear, pressure, self-image and embarrassment, can all be contributing factors to cause people to suffer in silence.
I was rather nervous prior the documentary as I feared it would churn up emotions, that to be honest I like to keep within and only let out through writing and my passion for football. 
Was I upset? Extremely. 
Did it awake certain experiences? Definitely. 
Did it demonstrate the need to break down the stigma? Absolutely.  
Footballers – money, luxury homes, fast cars and fancy holidays all paid by a very lucrative pay check.  A generalisation right?
Footballers are people first, not labels or robots, and experience the same emotions as any one of us.  In the documentary Clarke Carlisle asked, ‘Is the game hiding an ugly truth?’ 
Adding to that I’d question: Have cultural and societal perceptions led to this continuous silence? 
“Everyone’s perception of being a footballer is that you’ve made it. You’re a superstar” said Carlisle at the beginning of the documentary. 
Despite having 17 years of a successful playing career across all divisions, not to mention winning countless trophies including the prominent Premier League, Carlisle spoke of his spiral into depression.
“It’s hard to describe.  It’s madness.  It felt like my brain was closing”.  His depression was so severe that at the tender age of 21 he wanted to take his own life. 
Just one tackle can ultimately end the playing career of a footballer.  Just one tackle and they could lose everything they have worked so hard to achieve. 
Being at the centre of a horrific challenge, Carlisle was told that he may have to walk with a stick for the rest of his life.  I cannot even begin to imagine how this must have felt. 
With the news being too much to bear, he took a substantial number of pills and attempted to commit suicide.  “I wanted them to see me for what I really am, and that is nothing”. 
Clarke had kept his depression a secret, and despite having an incredibly strong mind, keeping feelings and emotions suppressed is harmful and dangerous. 
He said, “Depression is a mental injury that needs diagnosing and treating so you can be back on track again.  I kept it a secret because it’s a taboo”.   
CLARKE CARLISLE – A SILENT SUFFERER.  SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

Leon McKenzie is a former professional footballer for Norwich City with over 100 goals to his name, now working in the family business of boxing. 
Those of you that have read my previous blogs will recall my piece on Leon and his journey to his pro boxing debut last month.

In the documentary he stated: “You get to a stage where you don’t want to be you anymore. I didn’t hesitate.  I tried to commit suicide”. 
Being away from his children and regular injuries had a massive toll on his emotional state of mind. McKenzie highlighted the need for support and that the football fraternity needs to do more. 

Players in a similar situation need to know that they have SUPPORT.  Leon had lost direction and hope.

LEON MCKENZIE – A SILENT SUFFERER.  SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

A huge amount of pressure is placed upon players to perform, and this we know will begin from the time they enter the system as young talents, future hopefuls, prepping and hoping to seal a professional contract. 
Clarke mentioned young talent being ‘hot housed’ by academies.  It was rather worrying that the majority of young players, when asked, had not thought about their future beyond football - what would they do if they didn’t make it pro? One player commented “...with me I don’t think of plans”.

  
As little as 1% actually nail a professional contract, so are young hopefuls prepared for and equipped with the skills to aid them in dealing with their dreams being shattered?  Young prospects have been reported of suffering from chronic stress.
This does not surprise me as there are high demands and pressure from both the club and parents alike placed upon them.  One lad said he felt his dad was disappointed in him.  This is a huge burden to bear upon the shoulders of teenagers and young men. 


Are clubs doing enough to best equip their youngsters so that they are able to better deal with rejection?  Are clubs doing enough to educate their players/scholars on the reality of making it to a pro and therefore providing them with a ‘balanced’ and ‘well-rounded’ education plan?
Having worked in the field of education for more than 10 years I would say that this is imperative.
For the 1% that does make it, fame and fortune awaits. 
This, as well as pressures put on players, can have a negative impact on their mental state and behaviour, as the Head of Youth Development at Crystal Palace described. 
From the example that he had given it was transparent that mechanisms should be in place to spot problems by the club.  They have a duty of care and moral responsibility towards each player and it is essential that the gap from 16 to stardom is bridged.
Here, let’s draw upon Lee Hendrie, only 16 years old when he started his playing career at Aston Villa.  Hendrie spoke of his ‘fame’ to being ‘bankrupt’. 
From a young age he had everything: “everything had gone – to drop down was horrible”.  Devastated and unable to cope with his financial situation, Hendrie had attempted to take his own life.  He felt that he couldn’t talk to anyone.

LEE HENDRIE – A SILENT SUFFERER.  SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

Playing in front of thousands of fans week in week out must be magical.  Players are thrown into the media spotlight and treated like VIP’s. On the pitch each performance is scrutinised and analysed to the T.  A mistake can result in negative chants by fans, and as a young footballer this can have a detrimental effect on self-confidence.  LONELY, SAD, WORTHLESS – who do you talk to? It is the employers that dictate this.  What to say and what not to say – players become manufactured ‘products’.

FOOTBALLERS ARE ‘HUMAN’

As mentioned earlier, ‘pressure’ can harm performance, particularly when placing high expectations on yourself.  On November 10th 2009, German international goalkeeper Robert Enke said goodbye to his wife Teresa and gave his 10-month-old daughter a kiss on the forehead. He left the house saying he was going to train with his club. It was a lie.  Struggling to cope with long term chronic depression – he drove to a railway crossing and stepped out in front of an express train.

ROBERT ENKE – A SILENT SUFFERER. DIED AGED 32.

Tragic and shocking, but what followed as a result was brave and remarkable.  The Robert Enke Foundation was born and its primary focus is to help with the mental health of players. 
Currently, all clubs in Germany provide mental health care access to each player, which is supported through the Robert Enke Foundation.
Learning from this experience and trying to find prevention strategies to ensure there is no repeat is commendable and I applaud his wife and the German Football Federation for showing great courage and strength and would hope others follow suit.
In the UK, Tony Adams MBE is the brainchild behind the ‘Sporting Chance Clinic’, established in 2000, inspired by his own recovery from alcoholism.
The centres provide a safe and dedicated environment where sportsmen and women can receive support and counselling for all kinds of destructive behaviour patterns that exist in the world of competitive sport. Visit: http://www.sportingchanceclinic.com/ for further information.
More recently, ‘Elite Welfare Management’, founded by Vincent Pericard, is the first independent welfare organisation within sport aiming to utilise sport professionals social environment to maximise performance, development and potential by ensuring their personal and family's welfare.
It is situated in Cheshire and offers a retreat to a sanctuary of peaceful tranquillity.  Visit: http://www.elitewelfaremanagement.com/ for further details.

Both are brilliant initiatives that will be life-changing for many.

However, this is simply not enough.  People need to be made more tolerant of the issue surrounding Mental Illness for there to be any hope at all for seeing a transformation in thought and actions. 
Depression is not openly spoken about within society, it lacks understanding...but it’s time to change. 

The notion of ‘pull yourself together’ needs to stop.  And it needs to stop NOW. 
Organisations in the game, including clubs, need to take collective responsibility in ensuring the well-being of their players remains paramount. 

Given the FA’s 4-corner model, the ‘psychological’ care and development of players IS priority and should be high on the agenda.  I look forward to watching the programme that Bernstein briefly mentioned, although he did state he was unaware of the full-details!  Reluctance, lack of understanding or both? 

The documentary has certainly highlighted that it's time to talk and it's time to change.

Mental Illness affects everyone at any given time.  I will brave sharing with you my personal story:
My twin brother. Aged 18 became severely depressed due to long term bullying.  I remained completely unaware.  He hid it from me to protect me. 

He isolated himself from all of us.  TRAPPED, SCARED and LONELY. 

He wanted to kill himself countless times.  15 years on he is unable to speak and requires 1:1 care.  My WORLD, my HEART shattered.


MY TWIN – A SILENT SUFFERER.


We must eradicate the taboo and stigma. 

We must take a collective approach in creating radical change.  Moral responsibility and duty of care must be priority and we must work together and learn from incidents that have already occurred.
I take my hat off to Clarke and all those that bravely shared their experiences on ‘Footballs Suicide Secret’. 

Like Clarke said, failure on the pitch does not mean failure in life.  Many have suffered in silence. 

We must rise to the challenge. It’s time to talk, It’s time to change.  


The PFA have provided a list of useful contacts of support.  Please click on the link below:
http://www.thepfa.com/equalities/mentalhealth/contacts


To view other sport stories that I have written please visit: manishatailor.blogspot.co.uk and follow me on twitter @ManishaTailor1.