Bag a partner online...but what if he's already married?

11:02am Sunday 15th June 2008

By Sofia Hafeji

In recent years a whole host of Asian matrimonial sites have been launched. Coupled with singles events and introduction agencies is this a world full of people looking for love or a fickle world full of liars and chancers?

Shaadi.com has taken this into account and introduced the Shaadi Seal which apparently validates who the members say they are by requesting some form of identity.

How would the company know if the potential member is already married or with someone else?

Geeta from Shaadi.com said: "If we get feedback from a member to say that another member is already in a relationship or married then we will investigate the matter and ban them completely from the site.' SingleMuslim.com has some 120,00 registered users and Adeem Younis from the site thinks a hands-on' approach is all that is needed, saying: "We've go through every profile by hand and are accessible for any complaints our members want to make and we take those complaints very seriously.

"We just provided a service for the Muslim community and if there was still a stigma attached to it and there was no need for it then we wouldn't have so many members. It's like a platform for our society."

So the safety net for the online dating sites is dependant on the feedback of members.

Something that hasn't taken root in the North West in as big a way as elsewhere are the dating agencies and singles parties.

One of the most infamous events in London is the Padlock Party held by AsianSpeedD8 at the Gherkin Tower. It is very popular but what about its success rate?

Sonia from AsianSpeedD8 said, "We don't keep statistics about how many people have met and got married because it is just an ice-breaker for like-minded people to get to know each other.' "We don't give personal information about anyone. It's up to the individual when they want to disclose any information.

"It's like a blind date but with more safety and security because you are surrounded by lots of people."

At the party the women are issued with a padlock and the men with a key. The ice-breaker is when the men ask the women if they can try their key in the lock.

The other popular event for AsianSpeedD8 is their singles night geared towards certain groups of the Asian community, the Muslim singles night are sold out each time.

And with the growing popularity of both events they are bringing them closer to home, to Manchester.

The events seem to be geared towards anyone who can pay for a ticket. With no vetting procedure in place the only risk for those wanting to deceive is being seen by someone who knows them.

The next step in the dating ladder is the dating agencies. They meet and interview members before taking them on and ask for verification documents, with identification, address and employment confirmation being the norm.

Alpa from the London-based Tantric Club offers such a service. "I tried online dating before I set up the company and found that most people were there just for a laugh and I don't think I would have complained even if I found a discrepancy."

With the high membership cost and stringent interview technique, it would be very difficult for someone to begin this process with the intention to lie.

Once that we have vetted the individual and accepted them as a member then we start the process of matching them up with one of our other members ourselves rather than just leaving it to a computer," said Alpa.

Our comedy and salsa nights are always popular to the community and our events are geared to certain religions of the community and we are always sold out.

"We are also hoping to have our first Muslim wedding soon too.' Membership is sometimes refused because someone may not fit the broad category of the Tantric Club, which is geared towards the successful' members of the community, those educated to degree level or those successful without any paper qualifications.

It is interesting to note that membership is never refused because the individual has lied - who would lie in a face-to-face interview when they have to hand over their hard-earned money and provide documentation with that?

And with the feedback Alpa has received from the North West she has promised to bring one of the events to the region.

As the culture of online dating becomes marred with time wasters and people up to mischief other industries develop to become an opposing factor.

Kamran A Begg Events is a company that is trying to entwine religious integrity and the modern needs of the single Muslim.

"Our interview process last around an hour," said Kamran. "We guarantee 100per cent of the members' credentials because we establish their maturity, their Islamic outlook, what there are looking for in a life partner and their overall personality."

For every three applicants, the company turns down two and mostly because of the three-dialogue rule confirmed in the book published by Kamran.

"We insist on the rule of chaperoning because it is inherently part of the Islamic ethos. We have a chaperone present at our singles events and we monitor all dialogue taken place on our online matrimonial service," said Kamran.

"Ninety-five per cent of Muslims are not accustomed to the chaperoning rule because it is not part of the modern culture.

"Even when we find out that members have decided to meet without a chaperone then we call them to discuss the situation and we ask them to leave the organisation."

Since setting up in July 2003, Kamran A Begg Events can confirm 200 marriages worldwide and with events being held from London to New Jersey the stringent procedures do seem to be working.

But the membership isn't open to all and 95per cent of members are graduates who wish to communicate with other graduates too.