Can't cook won't cook (From Asian Image)

Can't cook won't cook

2:21pm Monday 25th February 2008 in

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More and more British Asian women don't know the contents of a lamb curry or what makes an aloo gobee says Shabana Yousuf.

When I was growing up our mums would cook as if their life depended on it.

Even back then I was no good at cooking. I loved to eat...but couldn't cook. My mum was so good at cooking it seemed almost impossible for me or for anyone else to be any good at it.

Now, I am not suggesting that all women should be able to cook. Men are better cooks than we are I am told but where the hell are they at dinner time?

I sense Gordon Ramsey comes home and sits on the couch, puts his feet up and barks out there is not enough salt in his evening meal.

Even amongst the host community there is a feeling that Asian women should be able' to cook. But let me say one thing and say it loud and clear - I am crap!

I don't know the amount of ginger or poodnah (mint) that goes into a dish and frankly I don't care.

I thought I was alone. But alas I am not. There is a growing number of Asian women who are just as hopeless in the kitchen as I am. But because our culture states otherwise we keep it to ourselves like some strange affliction that only rears its ugly head at special occasions.

"I can't cook. When I was growing up my mum did almost everything." explains Nabila, 27.

"We had a large family and my brothers would help out here and there but nothing special. My mum taught me a lot of things but cooking I'm afraid was not one of them.

"So when I got married my husband was expecting some grand things of me. It was partly my fault because I did tell him I was a decent cook.

"I told him where to go. We both worked and if he wanted to find a wife like that he should have gone to Pakistan I said."

For Memoona, 29 the first few weeks of marriage were something she wanted to forget.

"I got married and moved into his house. And then they left the evening cooking to me. I can honestly say it was like being in a horror movie. I kept ringing my mum up at home to find out what went where and when.

"In the end I put too much spices in by mistake. My mum said put a small spoonful in and I put a table spoons worth in.

"No-one said anything not even my husband. So I took a plate to my house and my brother vomited."

Yasmin, 33 says the very idea that because you are an Asian women and should be expected to cook' is offensive.

"I think there is horrible thing in our community that women from abroad can cook and British born women can't.

"My neighbour is from India and she's a worse cook than I am. She had servants in India doing most of that and when she came here she didn't know what hit her.

"I think it is also so easy to just go out and get some roti's and and some curry's now than it was before.

"The very thought of going out and buying food from a take away was frowned upon by our mums.

"Even my friends at work have this idea that Asian women and cooking go hand in hand.

"What they don't understand is that some dishes are really difficult to cook and master!"

Kulsoom, 34 says she never really learnt anything because her father was the real cook in her house.

"My dad did everything in our house so when I got married I thought my husband would have the same outlook on life.

"Unfortunately he had three sisters and an overbearing mother who did everything for him.

"We had so many arguments in the beginning but we have learnt to share responsibilities. I give him the money and he goes to the take away and buys the food!"

Nabila adds, "My husband has made the odd comments here and there about my lack of cooking skills but I don't let it bother me.

"I just tell him to do it himself."

"I know it's in our culture but I hate going to big dinners and being in the kitchen. All these women pretend they are better than me because they can make better brown rice!"

"I think women now have to be better at doing much more than just cooking. We take care of the kids, work, cook and clean."

However, what do you do if you are due to get married and your mum insists that you learn how to cook.

Aneesa is 21 and due to get married in the coming months.

"In my house my mum is the boss of everything. For my brothers cutting a cucumber was cooking!' "My mum has got me on a crash course on how to cook a biryani without burning it.

"I know some people might laugh and think I'm joking but the husbands family are going to expect come sort of culinary skills from their new daughter-in-law.

Well, all I can say is good luck and try not to burn the Paratha's.