Say 'I do' and sign on the dotted line... (From Asian Image)

Say 'I do' and sign on the dotted line...

10:48am Thursday 21st June 2007 in News features By Sabina Patel

With the wedding season upon us the spinsters and bachelors amongst us start panicking about being placed on that odious shelf.

But in this climate of growing change, where the institution of marriage appears to be more of an experiment than life long commitment, can you blame the few who choose to show their commitment to their partners by sharing their homes in place of their name?

The older I get, the more confused I am about what marriage signifies.

Why is it that we give more significance and I suppose respect, to those who have been married for a shorter period than the couple who have been together a proverbial lifetime but never taken the plunge?

What changes with a piece of paper, a ring and a costly ceremony? Why does the ultimate end-point of any relationship have to be marriage or nothing?

Divorce rates are on the increase and have been for many years. Yet it is not just the young who are divorcing but also the old who are realising that they are no longer expected to compromise.

Some would argue that the increase in divorce is wholly attributed to our obstinance to choose our own life partners, whilst others would blame the growing influence of western' cultures.

Regardless of where the blame lies, the fact remains that we are just as likely to get divorced as we are to end relationships with long term partners.

Living with the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with without the vows is still much of a taboo within the Asian community and yet plenty of those around you have chosen to do so.

Are these people afraid to commit? Scared that their love won't last a lifetime? Or do they simply not believe in the institution of marriage?

Regardless of their reasons one thing is for sure, we are all individuals capable of making our own choices.

Life for us is all about what we have made it rather than what our forefathers have decided they would like it to be and this means choosing whether or not to say I do' to the one you claim to love till your final breath. But is it?

Do we really get to choose to say those words to the very person to whom you claim to give the world?

When making life changing decisions such as marriage, we often forget that a relationship consists of two people.

In spite of what anyone says, secretly we all desire the perfect wedding. Yes, it's just a piece of paper. Yes, they're just two words often used in the social setting. And yes, it's a very very very expensive party but it's a milestone that nobody should ever be denied.

One could argue that marriage is pointless because you only have a piece of paper and a ring to show your togetherness. Does this therefore mean that education is pointless?

After all those years of hard grafting, what are we presented with at the end? A piece of paper.

Yet the writing on this piece of paper is what helps shape us into the adults that we eventually become.

Never underestimate the power of the alphabet which goes far beyond anything we will ever achieve. I do' are just two words to us, but to the people we claim love these words encompass their entire world.