But the bona fide alpha male really is simpler than he would like to believe.
If you exhibit any of the following traits, you know that you really are a clever (loosely translated as ‘deluded’) man.


The Racer: He is the guy (usually with tinted windows, cursory sunglasses and migraine-inducing music) who gets his kicks out of racing anyone of any age on the road. Even if it means winning the 100m sttretch at a peak of 25mph until the next set of traffic lights. 
And then, as he counts down the green light, he smugly lauds his driving prowess whilst the oblivious learner driver/elderly aunty in the sari in the adjacent car is none the wiser.


The Footballer: Beating a 10-year-old at a football match in the back garden does not make you the next Neymar. 
Or the ‘could have been’ athlete. 
These are the same men who live vicariously through their children and shout out unwarranted advice to their kids on the sidelines during mini league matches.Shouting aggressively somehow elevates said man into professional manager territory. FYI: managing a team in Fantasy Football does not transform you into Alex Ferguson.


The Player: This is a tricky one. This is the man who is the model son, the nurturing father and the good husband.
But all those responsibilities take its toll on him, and The Player needs to have his fun. 
So what’s the harm in a no strings attached dalliance with the girlfriend?
And to give credit where it’s due, only the most astute man can manage juggling two lives.
 As long as the wife doesn’t find out, it’s all good, eh?


The Gym Buff: This guy spends more time talking about the gym than frequenting it. Because talking about weights will render your 40-inch waist invisible.
And, just to clarify, reducing your calorie intake from three parathas a day to two does not constitute a diet.


The Man who Tweets: In today’s digital era, only a real man wins an intellectual debate with a complete stranger when it’s on Twitter.
He is the laptop warrior who spends his time getting into social ‘pungas’ to remind him of his superior IQ.
Because arguing over 140 characters about inane subjects is the way to enhance ones mental capacity.
You might as well try explaining the significance of the Higgs boson in the 21st century to a two-year-old.