I used to be a typical a long time ago but then when I made a bit of money I began calling other people typical'.
I used to wear an earring and have long permed hair at the back. My medallion hung from my hairy chest and I was the true gentlemen.
I would drive around and pretend I was the coolest guy on the block. All the girls would give me the eye. I was all that baby and some more.
advertisement
A Salam' here and a Salam' there, I was the centre of attraction as I patrolled the town centre hunting for my prey.
The funny thing was I was in a minority yet they called me the typical. I could never understand that.
But, alas the age of the typical had to come to an end sooner or later.
The typicals of yesteryear can now only be spotted on visits to Bradford. They are still cool in parts of that city. I sometimes go there to rekindle lost memories.
I cut my hair or lost it. I had had enough of the green pants and baggy white shirts. My medallion lost its shine and worst of all I started to talk without an Asian accent.
Sadly, the female typical also slowly became extinct. She lost her shoulder-pads and pink shalwar kameez. The make-up and hair-dye was replaced by a head-scarf and an alham dullilah (god-willing). She even stopped using the word innit' in every other sentance.
But I have learnt that life is indeed a vicious circle. When one set of typicals dies another soon emerges.
The modern day class of typical wears Rockports with tracksuit bottoms. Unlike the typical of old he doesn't speak with an accent but more of a British one.
He is an expert in world affairs, has a top motor, and generally spends bucket loads of cash on clothes that don't match.
Most of the time the modern day typical will spend his time sitting in a parked car listening to music and getting his parents to pay for everything.
She on the other hand has straight hair, is also an apparent expert in world affairs and wears black all the time. She is joined by another set upcoming typicals. The hijab wearing ones. Darling, those figure hugging tops and jeans don't go with that lovely head scarf no matter how hard you try.
But old habits die hard. Both sets of typicals are in their own mind original in every way.
They hate the fact that you have the nerve to call them typicals and will call you a typical for pointing this out.
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
Print
Email this
