'Sister, you need to pray - depression doesn’t exist in Islam'

I’ve even been told, “Sister you should get married it will remove your depression.”

Other things I have been told is that I have been possessed by the jinn (devil) and I need to see a raqi (healer) to remove the jinn from my body.

So I decided to contact a raqi. A sister on social media gave me his number. I phoned him during Ramadan this year. We spoke on the phone for about half an hour. 

During the telephone call he started to ask me personal questions about my family. I didn’t think anything of it so decided to answer. 

He asked me to do a FaceTime call with him. I explained it was late and I am not wearing hijab and don’t feel comfortable doing a FaceTime call.

He then said I don’t need to wear hijab, it’s no a big deal. 

I was surprised by his comment but I said no I don’t wish to do a FaceTime call. 

He started to shout at me, telling me you don’t know how to pray properly and you have a jinn inside you. 

At that point I felt incredibly scared because it was night and I was alone. 

He then asked me to send him £300 and deposit it via online banking into his wives account, so he can buy ingredients for the medicine he needs to make that will cure me. 

He then said maybe we can go for dinner sometime randomly. 

I was very confused by the whole experience. So I told some friends what happened.

They told me to block him immediately. I blocked him yet throughout Ramadan he carried on sending me messages using a different phone number. I then blocked that number too.

I was left feeling sad, depressed and frightened, thinking is there really a jinn inside of me? I thought well if there is a jinn how can I pray my salah? I was very confused and that night didn’t sleep properly.

Someone suggested I contact a local masjid.

Pictures Copyright: parveenali.com

I phoned a local imam within my area and explained to him that I felt low in my mood and suicidal. 

The imam told me to pray. He said, “Praying will remove the feelings you are having.” I explained I do pray but I still feel very unwell. He dismissed anything I said and quickly terminated the call politely.

Where do I go from here, I asked myself? I was once again left confused, alone and felt there is no way out. I felt completely alienated.

Praying stopped answering the questions and that scared me. I was left feeling guilty for being mentally unwell which then lead to me feel worthless.

I notice that when I talk to people from the Muslim community about how I’m feeling, there are always people who say ”You need to pray sister and prayer will cure you” and “Depression doesn’t exist in Islam.”

The mental health ward I was admitted to had thirteen beds. I was in an all-female ward and five of the beds were occupied by Muslim women. 

At meal times the men’s ward and women’s ward ate in the canteen together. I met many Muslim men who were suffering with mental health issues too.

Why is mental health dismissed within the Muslim communities? Why assume the person is possessed by a jinn or doesn’t pray enough? This just adds to the anxiety and the individual is left feeling isolated and worthless.

It’s time religious leaders talk about mental health and depression.

They could use their position to reach out to the community and stop this idea that being depressed means you are possessed by the devil.

They need to offer support and work with mental health services to help those suffering within the Muslim community.

Parveen Ali is a writer and photographer