Ramadan was always difficult for me in a house with young children and a father who treated Ramadan like any other month.
 
My ex-husband never fasted. Praying was out of the question.
 
Once he even came home drunk on Eid.
 
Before we had children I could handle it. 
 
But after kids come along, you start questioning everything.
 
There needs to be a positive example set for the children so they can mirror it.
 
We would end up having arguments as he didn't want me to fast as it would affect my energy levels and he felt like I was neglecting his needs.
 
On top of that I had to lie to his family and keep up the pretence that he was fasting.
 
When they would invite us round for iftari, he would pretend as if he had been fasting and would eat the iftari shamelessly.
 
Since being on our own, the children and I have for the first time experienced a peaceful Ramadan.
 
We eat together, we pray together, we go the mosque as a family.
 
The whole atmosphere has changed.
 
From being a month I used to dread, it has become what it is meant to be, a month to look forward to, to enjoy, to experience these wonderful blessings.

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