Dear Massi, I am getting married soon. All I wanted was a simple nikah ceremony, but as soon as parents got involved it is getting out of hand.

I have spent over £25,000 already. I have had to buy a set of gold jewellery for my fiancée’s three sisters and her mum and all the mum’s sisters, and new suits for the sister’s husbands.

After I bought the main jewellery set for the valima outfit, they complained that the teeka was too small, so I had to return it and buy a bigger one. And after that they complained there was no jhoomar.

As well as paying for flights, and hiring cars and paying for hotel rooms for her guests, now I have been asked to pay for lip fillers for my fiancée sisters.

My parents are really old fashioned and don’t want to say no to anything. I have a good job, but I want my savings to go towards our future, not for one day.

My fiancée feels the same way as me, but her sisters, mum and aunts are all really domineering.

She calls me up from the bathroom, stressed and crying because her family are taking over the wedding plans.

Can you suggest something to ease this whole process?

Massi Says, It is very easy for wedding costs to escalate quite quickly.

It is often social and cultural expectations that induce huge expenditure.

You and your fiancée both appear to be taking a very sensible approach to the wedding day.

As you rightly said, it is important to focus on the marriage itself rather than just on one day. It is very frustrating.

Along with that undue strain, it is very unfair for you to be expected to pay for superficial things like lip fillers or suits. It is time for you and your fiancée to tackle this problem together.

Arrange a meeting with both families and tell them both that the wedding plans being made by the parents are causing you and your fiancée stress and anxiety.

Tell them clearly and calmly that you want to focus on your financial stability as a married couple rather than on extravagant expenditure for guests.

Explain that it is your marriage you want to prioritise and not the wedding day.