Fresh Pot (From Asian Image)

Fresh Pot

2:50pm Sunday 19th July 2009

• Print
• Email
• Share

When a brother came over some years back everyone called him ‘Freshie’ (fresh off the boat).

Now, having learned the lingo I call everyone a ‘Freshie’. The term ‘Freshie’ was first used by the writer of this column in 1979 when referring to a new arrival from back home. Since then the term has been used and abused.

I invented the term and now I want it back. When I called someone Freshie I said it in a loving way. It was with a mark of respect.

I didn’t do it so we could make fun of the brother. I did it so the fellow knew his place.

He in return had a multitude of names for me, many of which ended in ‘dah’ and and rhymed with ‘aud’.

Now, every dog seems to think he can call people ‘freshie’ for no apparant reason.

The funny thing is, you have more people born and bred here who act like ‘freshies’ than everyone else.

Take a look around and you will find the freshies speaking better English than those born here.

Where on earth does that accent come from? How does a person who is born and bred here still have the same accent who has recently come to this country?

It has come to a point where I don’t know who is what and where. In the past freshies had a moustache and we didn’t. That rule no longer applies.

I got into a conversation with one freshie who thought I was one too because the ‘nara’ in my Shalwaar Kameez was hanging in a peculiar way.

And how come no-one ever says anything to the ‘female freshies’. They seem to get with everything scot free.

They come in pairs those do..either they are the controlling type and have their husbands proper boxed in or they are the timid type..whose husbands can do what they want.

I am all for integration but it is time we banned the term ‘freshie’ once and for all. The term no longer has any meaning.

The way I see it we’re all a bunch of freshies and always will be.

I recently went to the source of the problem (back home) and became a ‘reverse freshie’. I lazed around all day...made-up rumours about other people’s families and every now and then went into a rage over a couple of quid.

They didn’t know what hit them.

• Print
• Email
• Share