The Hand-Shaker (From Asian Image)

The Hand-Shaker

12:30pm Tuesday 18th November 2008

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Salaam my brother, now shake my hand.

I shake people’s hands all the time. When I meet them and sometimes when I am saying goodbye.

The best thing is when I come across a group of mates. I have to shake every single hand one by one. The whole process is a bit of a pain actually because once you have started you can’t actually stop. Having shaken seven hands you can’t leave the eighth guy hanging. That would be rude.

Going to someone’s house – shake the hand. Stop someone in town – shake the hand. Get into a car – shake the hand.

Things can get a little ridiculous though. Sometimes when you are in a rush and you hold your hand out the other guy doesn’t respond and you look like an idiot.

Other times you are in a big front room and all the elders are there. One by one you shake everyone’s hands and then in the middle of the room one elder hasn’t noticed your outstretched hand. It is embarrassing to say the least.

There are also the double hand shakers. Those who place their other hand over yours so it is cushioned between both hands. Those guys are so cool.

Then there are others who get up to shake your hand. It is as if shaking your hand from a seated position just doesn’t have the same effect.

Sometimes the guy shakes your hand and then does this thing...you know what I’m on about...he pats his chest.

I wish sometimes though I could say no. Tight hands, soft hands, sweaty hands. The life of a serial hand-shaker is prone to surprises and shocks.

Like one time I came across this guy who always shook my hand too hard and then at the end tickled my palm with his index finger. And then there was the guy who shook my hand like a woman. What on earth did your daddy teach you son?

You may also from time to time come across the gentleman who won’t let go of your hand. And the close hand shakers who move their body right next to yours when greeting you.

The best is when you meet an Asian woman who shakes your hand. It is so unsual you don’t know what to make of it.

The funniest thing is when you see two women shake hands. They don’t even do it properly and you snigger at their amateurish approach.

Regardless of these pitfalls there is nothing like a good hand-shake..it’s what hands were made for.

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