I keep thinking of what might have been (From Asian Image)
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I keep thinking of what might have been
12:10pm Tuesday 14th February 2012 in Feeds By Massi
Dear Massi, I can’t stop thinking about this guy I used to know.
I am married now but recently I have started thinking about how my life would have turned out if I had not got married. He was just my friend but I wanted to take things further but at the time he was with someone else. Then we just stopped talking. I’ve heard now he got married and then divorced.
It has been over ten years since we spoke. I have looked him up on the internet but don’t have the nerve to get in touch.
I have two children and my married life is good but my husband doesn’t talk like this guy did. He was different. We were different. Is this all in my head?
Massi says, You’ve said you have a good life with kids and a good marriage so you need to ask yourself why you are thinking about this.
It’s not uncommon for us to start fantasizing about a better time or a different person when things are not so perfect in our current relationships.
You don’t know how this friend is any more. He may well have changed in the intervening 10 years. I would seriously question my motivation in wanting to contact him again as it may have dire consequences for you current life.
Are you willing to jeopardise your present good life for a half remembered past which may not be as you remember it?
And don’t forget he may not feel the same about you after so long. We all want things to be better in our relationships but the way to achieve this is by working on the issues not creating bigger problems by bringing your fantasies into the realm of reality.
Muslim says...
3:47pm Tue 14 Feb 12
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Thoughts turn into actions, and if you feel your secure life will be threatened through fantasy (often negative outcome) thoughts - then cut them off immediately and focus your attention on something more positive, beneficial and realistic. Try to better yourself as a person to reach newer heights instead of clinging onto old memories.
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Also remember that your husband, although maybe not as charming - but he has been loyal to you, and you cannot hold on to these fantasy thoughts too long, since you yourself would not like it if he left you, and your family for someone else.
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One last thing, if you're a believer of destiny - then know 'the pens (of destiny) have been lifted, and the ink has dried.' And God says; 'It might be that you hate a thing but it is good for you, and it might be that you like a thing, but it is bad for you, God knows and you do not know' (Quran 2:216)