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Why won't they understand?
Dear Massi,I am divorced and so is the person I am with right now. I wanted to tell my parents about this girl that I intend to marry, but it all went wrong.
They found out about her through my cousin sister, who I thought I could trust, but she twisted everything. She made the girl I am with seem like a bad person when she is not.
My parents are believing her and are now saying that if I get married to this girl who has a child, what will people in the community say?
I have told my parents that whatever happens I am still going to marry this girl and won't accept anything else.
My cousin brother has said to me, to wait six months and see what happens and if your feelings are still the same, to then discuss the matter with my family.
At the moment my family are not agreeing and they will disown me. But I am trying to do the right thing by telling my parents.
Since I am still going through my divorce with my ex, I really don't know what to say at the moment.
What gets me is that my older sister married a revert who I married off since my dad did not want to be there. Now everyone is happy.
My ex did not even want to stay at the family home, but this girl does, and she encourages me to sit with my family, since most of the time I don't.
EL.
MASSI SAYS, You seem like a responsible and mature person. And being one I think you should be prepared to wait for a while before getting married.
You didn't say how long you have known this person.
I don't think you should worry too much about your cousin sister. It is very easy to get yourself lost in idle gossip in situations like this.
As for your parents it is good you want to tell them. But rather than worry about what might happen try to be rational about things. Wait until your divorce is finalised before you make any commitments.
I'm certain that once your parents realise that you are determined to marry this woman then they will support you like they eventually supported your sister.. Most parents would do the same thing. Especially in our community.
If you love this person then things will work out.
Remember this decision not only affects you and your partner but also your partner's child.
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CommentPosted by: dj kameez on 3:31pm Sun 9 Dec 07
you should wait till your completly free from your ex, hopefully that will give enough time for your family to come around.Perseverance!
!
you should wait till your completly free from your ex, hopefully that will give enough time for your family to come around.Perseverance!
!
Posted by: pat, Bolton on 1:57pm Thu 3 Jan 08
give it up mate....why do u wanna marry a divorcee with a child....what make you think she'll stay with you...give it a year and she'll divorce you 2.. i tell ya...woman are b*****s....
give it up mate....why do u wanna marry a divorcee with a child....what make you think she'll stay with you...give it a year and she'll divorce you 2.. i tell ya...woman are b*****s....
Posted by: faz, Blackburn on 9:33pm Sat 5 Jan 08
i say go for it. if you wanna marry her, marry her. you only live once. as for cousin-sista, she must a jealous **** who cant c anyone happy.And as for you,PAT,from BOLTON, teres nowt wrong marrying a gal whoz divorced, u just a ignorant ****. and no, am not a divorcee!!
i say go for it. if you wanna marry her, marry her. you only live once. as for cousin-sista, she must a jealous **** who cant c anyone happy.And as for you,PAT,from BOLTON, teres nowt wrong marrying a gal whoz divorced, u just a ignorant ****. and no, am not a divorcee!!
Posted by: ANON, Blackburn on 3:00am Thu 10 Jan 08
[quote][bold]pat[/bold] wrote:
give it up mate....why do u wanna marry a divorcee with a child....what make you think she\'ll stay with you...give it a year and she\'ll divorce you 2.. i tell ya...woman are b*****s....[/quote] That is disgusting and i cant beleive ppl still have that view
EL do what ya heart says only you know wat is right for you!
good luck
pat wrote:
give it up mate....why do u wanna marry a divorcee with a child....what make you think she\'ll stay with you...give it a year and she\'ll divorce you 2.. i tell ya...woman are b*****s....
That is disgusting and i cant beleive ppl still have that view
EL do what ya heart says only you know wat is right for you!
good luck
Posted by: Roxy on 10:36am Fri 11 Jan 08
you fall in love with a person not their previous marrital status! i really respect the fact you seem to love this girl and her child enough to want to marry them. i say them as they are a package and you should bear that in mind. if we stopped doing things to try to keep other ppl happy we'd spend our own lives being miserable and stil not be sucessful in making the 'community' happy.
although you need to let your family get used to this idea and use this time to finalise your divorce. only then can you think with a clear head. good luck x
and pat...grow up. enough said!
you fall in love with a person not their previous marrital status! i really respect the fact you seem to love this girl and her child enough to want to marry them. i say them as they are a package and you should bear that in mind. if we stopped doing things to try to keep other ppl happy we'd spend our own lives being miserable and stil not be sucessful in making the 'community' happy.
although you need to let your family get used to this idea and use this time to finalise your divorce. only then can you think with a clear head. good luck x
and pat...grow up. enough said!
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