I have anger management issues (From Asian Image)

I have anger management issues

4:30pm Thursday 14th January 2010

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Dear Massi, I am 18 years old male and have a really bad anger problem.

The slightest thing can set me off. For example, at the takeaway the man put ketchup all over my food when I insisted on NO ketchup so I insulted him.

When I had calmed down i realised it was the wrong thing to do and went to apologise.

Recently I have realised my anger is worsening. I have started flipping out on my family and friends and have started to use very offensive language against them (punjabi swears) and physically assaulting them over minor issues.

I have started fights at college and on the streets for no genuine reason. I dont drink and have never taken drugs. I’ve tried staying away from people but it dosent seem to work.

Can you please advise me on what i can do as these altercations with family members and friends are hurting my parents and i love them so much...I cant bare to see their pain.

MASSI SAYS, First give yourself some credit. You obviously really care about the effect your behaviour has on others, you're aware of it and want to sort it out.

I think it's telling that instead of talking out your problems with the people close to you, you have tried to 'isolate' yourself from people as a way of coping.

Keeping things bottled up will only make things worse and if you are the type of person who tries not to bother others with your problems, you might find things boil over when small and trivial things happen to you.

Have a good talk with your parents or a close friend, as they are no doubt worried about you anyway. Even if you are not able to learn how to share your troubles straight away, making a start will make you feel better.

They will feel better just knowing it is something you want to work on.

You also need to take a good look at your life in general and ask yourself what it is that is making you so unhappy.

In the meantime go and see your GP and ask to be referred to an anger management counsellor. Left untackled these feelings can lead to depression or have a serious effect on your health, so take action.

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