My mum does not believe me! (From Asian Image)

My mum does not believe me!

4:30pm Thursday 14th January 2010

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Dear Massi, I am a 21 year old male who is at university studying in my first year and I have a major issue.

I have been seeing a girl for 3 yrs now and I told my mum about it and my mum does not believe me that a girl who is mixed race and looks white but does not look her colour.

She is born as a Muslim but my parents do not believe me.

I want to marry her but I am waiting for my parents’ blessings and to accept her.

I do not know how to tell my parents and sit down and talk about it, they seem to get angry about it. I have done everything my parents told me to do. I live in a flat and still have to ask my parents if I can go to places please help me.

Dear Massi, There seems to be a couple of issues here, one that you want to marry a girl who is of dual heritage and another that you feel your parents are still very controlling of you despite your being in your early twenties and at uni.

Have you thought that perhaps your parents don’t know how you feel and that perhaps they still view you as their little boy?

You need to make them understand that you have grown up and that there are things in your life that you feel passionate about such as your girlfriend.

You have been seeing this girl for three years and so it sounds like you are serious about her.

I know that you want to marry her but remember you are only 21, which is very young to be making such big decisions about your life.

You guys are together; take some more time to speak to your parents and to show them that you are serious about this girl as they may think that this is just youthful fancy and that you will grow out of.

You mentioned your mum has qualms about this girl and is querying whether she is Muslim or not, perhaps when you have spoken to your parents about her you might want to introduce her to them and her family and this may allay their fears about her religious background.

Perhaps there is a member of your family you can confide in who will be able to support you and fight in your corner.

If you truly love this girl then take your time and try to talk your parents around, most importantly show your parents that you are a mature young man who is old enough to make decisions about his life which are lasting and will make you happy.

At the end of the day all parents want is for their children to be happy, unfortunately they just go about it the wrong way sometimes.

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