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Our relationship has changed (From Asian Image)
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Our relationship has changed
12:34pm Friday 13th November 2009
Dear Massi, I have been married for four years and I have one daughter and I am expecting at the moment.
My relationship is not what it used to be. I don’t know if I am over reacting but I think he doesn’t care about me and the kids.
He won’t spend enough time with us. He has just gone to meet his parents in Pakistan and only asked how we were several days after getting there..
I have a couple of disabilities and I am pregnant as well.
I love him so much that I can’t let go and when I do get angry and start crying I just think about my kids and I know for a fact that my daughter can’t live without him. She keeps telling him over the phone ‘come home dada I miss you’.
She is only three I am trapped with theses kids I don’t know what to do help me please help.
G.
Massi says, It is obvious your husband has changed or your perception of him has changed.
It may be that he is beginning to take you for granted. He should know better as he has a young child and another one on the way. I think the last place he should be is in Pakistan!
It must be very difficult for you. At this time you should try to get as much support from your family and friends. You won’t know what is bothering your husband unless you actually sit down and ask him.
He may be feeling the pressure of another child or having problems adjusting to the situation. But I sense he is being very selfish by putting you through this. You are at an imporant time in your pregnancy and he should make an effort to be with you.
I know it is difficult to be in a situation where you are not getting any attention but don’t let it get you further down. After all you have your unborn child and toddler to take care of.
Make sure you ask for as much help from your immediate family and friends.
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man_of_the_world, says...
3:32pm Wed 25 Nov 09
1. Being pregnant, you are under enormous emotional & physical pressure. This can sometimes make women blow things out of proportion to what they really are.
2. You already have a daughter, your husband has gone off back home. Have you had a scan to establish the sex of the baby? Maybe he thinks you're gonna have another girl. And we know that some men (asian or not) prefer boys, and seem to blame the mother when she has girls. Perhaps this thought has freaked him out and hence he's gone back home.
3. He might just need some time away from you both? Living with family members day in day out can take it's toll, no matter how much you love them, everyone needs time away from each other.
I advise to let him have his space, dont hassle him to come back, explain that to your daughter too, and let him come back when he's ready. In the meantime, it's vital that you get good support from your family & friends here. Good luck.