Why does his family come first? (From Asian Image)

Why does his family come first?

1:04pm Thursday 20th August 2009

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Dear Massi, My husband won’t stand up for me in front of his family.

Whatever they say he does and it always ends with us having arguments. His sisters want him to do something and he rushes to them.

I just feel so helpless all the time. I have tried to make him understand how I feel but he doesn’t care. It is causing many problems between us.

Recently, he lent his brother half our savings.

What can I do?

Massi says, This seems to be a common problem among some men who seem unable to support their wives as well as maintain relationships with their families.

And they seem to think that they have to sacrifice one for the other.

Contrary to popular belief you can be a good husband and a dutiful son and this is something that your husband needs to realise. You deserve to have your husband support you and any decisions you make ought to be joint ones and so lending his brother half your savings without discussing it with you is out of order.

I think you guys really need to have a serious conversation about what you expect from one another and you need to be clear with your husband that you expect his support but try to do this in a way where you don’t end up accusing him, try to be calm and put your feelings forward that you feel he is not supportive enough and that you are not against him helping his family but it cannot be at the cost of your own family’s expense and happiness.

I am sure if you have a serious conversation and explain your feelings fully he will understand where you are coming from. Good luck with it all.

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