I can't trust my partner (From Asian Image)

I can't trust my partner

8:38pm Sunday 19th April 2009

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Dear Massi, I was born in Pakistan but came here a few years ago.

I was seeing this girl for a year and have really fallen for her but I have found out from my other colleages thats she is cheating me and she is doing funny business with another colleague of mine.

I am very angry and also upset because I thought this girl was the one for me.

I have tried to ask her but she says I am insecure but when I ask to see her phone she quickly deletes all the texts.

A, Manchester.

Massi Says, Firstly your English is fine to say that you have not long been in the country.

From what you are saying it sounds like there is a bit of mistrust between you and your girlfriend and perhaps some insecurity on your part which is making you think that your girlfriend is cheating on you with your colleague.

It sounds like you have tried to ask her about this but it may be that she feels offended that you have believed your friend over her.

You need to ask some questions of your friend to make sure that you are not wrongfully accusing your girlfriend as you may need up ruining a good relationship by accusing her of something she may not be guilty of.

You need to have some sort of proof before you make any accusations. So get your facts straight from your friend and try to find out if this friend is being genuine or if he has an ulterior motive for passing on this information.

Sit down with your girlfriend and explain how much you love her and that you would be heartbroken if she did not feel for you as you feel for her.

Tell her about what was said and try to have an honest and open discussion about it with her. You guys have been in a relationship for over a year and so should be able to have an honest talk about things that may be worrying you and how you can resolve any issues within your relationship.

You mentioned trying to read her text messages but I would say to you that those are her personal messages and so it should be up to her whether she shows them to you or not, just because she does not want to show you her mobile does not make her guilty!

You guys need to have a long talk about what you both want from your relationship because if she is seeing someone else it may mean that your relationship is not fulfilling her needs. Have a long hard think because a discussion with her may raise questions that you may not want to be answered. Try to get things clear in your own mind before you speak with her and do not accuse her but ask for her honesty and I am sure that you will be able to arrive at the truth.

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