Helpless at plight of neighbour

3:12pm Tuesday 1st April 2008

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Dear Massi, I am not Asian and have found out the neighbour is treating his wife really badly.

She comes round to my house every so often and is in such a state.

She is from here and so is her husband but she still feels she is the one who is doing everything wrong and deserves to be treated this way.

I was going to talk to her husband but they might think I am interfering. I feel very guilty that I can't do anything to help her.

I was also going to talk to a member of her family but they might think I am over-stepping the mark.

I don't want to interfere and offend anyone's culture.

Last week we got talking and she told me her husband wants her to move to another city. I fear for her and don't know what to say.

She had a bruise on her arm once and all I could do was listen to how he beats her when he wants.

Is there anything I can do to help her? I don't understand the culture as I am not Asian.

Massi says, First of all you need to explain to her this is not her fault.

Whether she takes your advice or not is another matter all together.

She is lucky to have a neighbour like you but what she is going through has nothing to do with culture or religion and her husband is wife-beater nothing more.

I know you might think you are interfering in someone else's life but you can tell the authorities about this.

The police do take these incidents very seriously.

Next time you are awoken by her cries you might want to call the police.

It might take some time but slowly she will begin to understand that what her husband is doing is criminal and he cannot continue treating her this way.

I know you said you don't want to talk to her family but that may be a starting step.

They may not be aware of the situation and you may think you are breaching her trust but they may be thankful that you told them.

Some husbands do not and will not stop until they are confronted with the harsh reality of what they are doing.