When it comes to saving we know a thing or two.
A kunjoos (stingy) person is to be admired my dear friends - not to be ridiculed. I have to say I was such a wonderful kunjoos in my heyday.
In fact they even coined the phrase ‘kunjoos da puttar’ after I admitted the only reason I liked Ramadhan was so I wouldn’t have to feed the family.
Economic crash or boom time…the kunjoos will ride the storm.
But the nature of being a kunjoos has changed. In my time I would save every single penny and then live like a millionaire back in my homeland.
Even if I had to go without for months, at least I was king of the village as soon as I stepped off the plane.
I never bought my own fags. I visited people at rotee time. I wore the same clothes for years. I used other people’s washing machines. I hardly ever drove my car anywhere, I only had incoming calls on my phone. I made the wife reuse the paper plates. I cut my own kids hair. I ate dhal or chawal every day.
The best thing is I moan constantly about being skint and people think I am having huge money issues.
The secret way to find out if you are dealing with a hard core kunjoos nu chokrah is to see how many times that fellow talks about money. I began and ended each conversation with all things financial.
At the mosque, at a wedding, at a funeral - all I was interested in was wanting to know who earned how much. It helped to deflect the attention off me.. genius really.
The problem is now, I’m dealing with the ‘professional female’ kunjoos’s.
Look, you know it, I know it...and the world knows it, the female kunjoos is a law unto herself.
Last week, there was a buy one get one offer and a team of them with kids turned up and fleeced the whole place big time. Another gang hover around supermarkets late at night and wait for them to throw the old fruit out at knockdown prices.
The mobile phone has connected these female kunjoos’s like never before.
One offer - a few texts later the offers are as good as gone....Buyakah Shah.