Take the damn money! (From Asian Image)

Take the damn money!

11:20am Sunday 19th June 2011 in Last Bit By The Last Bit

There was a period when one would visit someone’s house and an elder would hand over some dosh.

It was the done thing and almost anyone and everyone was at it. It could have been a simple visit, an engagement or birth of a new baby...it seems it was an excuse to show how great you were.

As a kid you wanted to take the money and run..but a stern look from your parent soon put you in your place.

At times things did get ridiculous and a mini-scrap would break out between the parents. Strangely each sentence would begin with the word ‘oh..'.

‘Oh...take the money'.

‘Oh...no we shouldn’t.

‘Oh...just take it.'.

‘Oh no please we can’t..it is too much'.

‘Oh...we insist you take it'.

‘Oh...you know we really shouldn’t'.

The kid was stuck in the middle - pulled from one side to the next and get a note stuffed into his collar whilst his mum tried her best to give it back.

We all know now that this was all a complete and utter charade. She wanted to take it but realised she would have to return the favour on her next visit to their house.

And sometimes after having not wanted the money as soon the relative left the front door...somebody would come out with the best line ever...’Look at that, she only gave a fiver..we gave double that last year....stingy b****.’ That would be followed by...’Now, hand over the money kid.’ It seems we have learnt little from this escapade but I must say the new blood do not have the same manners.

I went to someone’s house and gave the kid a tenner and no-one batted an eyelid.

I was expecting at least a couple of minutes of the ‘oh’ exercise...but nothing. Later I got told they slagged me off for not handing a twenty note over.

Another time the kid came and asked me for money...the cheek of it! Did his parents say a word to him? No! They just sniggered and thought it was all a big joke...******s.

Once, I handed the money over to the kid and made the ultimate mistake of not doing so in front of any any witnesses.

‘What a bozo of a husband you really are’ my wife exclaimed. ‘Next time when you hand the money over make sure at least seventeen people are watching...otherwise what’s the point?’