Tickle Tackle (From Asian Image)

Tickle Tackle

6:41pm Wednesday 13th April 2011 in Last Bit By The Last Bit

If there is one unifying thing on this planet it is the fact that we all hate getting changed in front of anyone.

The two minutes I spent getting changed at school during PE was the most horrible two minutes of my life.

The thing was...it was important...no I say imperative... to keeps one’s tickle tackle hidden from view.

It was an unwritten rule between everyone and one that was followed without question.

There were moments when people just stood there waiting for someone else to get changed first or making excuses up so they could be the last one out of the changing rooms. In my case I didn’t want people to scoff at my blue y-fronts.

When we were forced to take a shower we all hurried in and out with our underpants on. We then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to get changed without going completely starkers.

I would have rather died than put my crown jewels on display. This was no easy task I can tell you. You had to grapple with a small towel, wet underpants, dry underpants whilst at the same time try to balance on a small bench so as not to touch the floor.

Many a time a worried fellow would accidently drop his towel - the shame of it. Another time some guy would forget to pack an extra pair of clean underpants in his bag...oh dear. The worst thing that could happen was if the teacher banned underpants from the showers. Our Kenny had a field day.

And then it happened one of us decided to break rank and go commando. Boy...that was a shock to the system I can tell you.

For the first few weeks no-one said anything about his new found freedom. Then somebody put it down to him having eaten bacon flavoured crisps.

If that was shocking - imagine how the the kid who had newly arrived in the country felt.

Boy, did he tell a story to his relatives back home. “Mum..I don’t know how to say this but it really is a free for all over here.”

As years went by I am glad to say the golden rule is as strictly adhered to as it ever was.

I, for one, would rather queue for ten minutes to use a cubicle rather than flash me Jimmy Johnson at a urinal. It is the done thing you see.